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Why Didn’t Anyone Ever Tell Me…

That sometimes motherhood blows?  Yep, I said it.  Sometimes being a mom, plainly and simply, sucks.  But according to everyone’s Facebook and Instagram posts, motherhood is all rainbows and butterflies. What the hell? Am I alone here?

In all honesty, it is hands down the hardest thing I have ever done.  It is by far the most tiring thing I have ever done (In college pre-season we did 3-a-days and mommy-hood easily tops the cake). It’s without a fringe of a doubt the most unpredictable, 24/7 job I have ever partaken in.  It’s the only job I have EVER heard of that never allows you to you disengage. (Even when you sleep, I swear you’re still 1/3 awake, listening for that tiny whimper.)

Sure, before and during my pregnancy, I got the broad picture… Less sleep, less socializing, less travel, less sex…will seriously never be an issue for my husband … and less spontaneity. Not too bad right? Wrong.

NO ONE told me the not so obvious details like:
Before you have children…
-Cherish your long showers when you have time to just. stand. still. under the warm, falling water.
-Cherish going #2 with a book in hand, instead of a baby (yes, this happens).
-Cherish staying up late and not having to drink 26138291 cups of coffee the next day.
-Cherish cooking meals that include 4 or more ingredients.
-Cherish eating a meal that includes sitting in a chair, at a table, opposed to standing on a floor, at a counter top.
-Cherish wearing makeup instead of clothes covered in vomit.
-Cherish the absence of spit up, in your house, in your car, at the store, and on a walk, you are so unknowingly blessed with currently.
-Cherish not having to get through your day doing everything with one hand, and sometimes your feet.  (I have mastered the ‘toe pick up.’)
-Cherish leaving the house like this-
Purse and keys. Walk to car. Get in car. Go.
Instead of like this-
Diaper bag.  Make sure diaper bag has diapers and wipes. Paci. Sophie the giraffe.  Swaddle.  Insert baby into stroller.  Walk to car. Realize you forgot purse and keys.  Walk to house.  Grab purse and keys.  Walk back to car.  Put baby in car seat.  Put paci in baby.  Put Sophie next to baby.  Cover baby with swaddle.  Put diaper bag in front seat (where it’s handy).  Fold up 40 lb stroller. Put 40 lb stroller into trunk.  Get into car.  Take a shot (kidding, but you’ll have the urge, I promise).  Go.
-Cherish taking your dear, sweet time getting ready. If your man gives you shit, tell him to shove it.  Blow dry your hair, girl. Apply 5 coats of mascara.  Cover up every pimple perfectly.  Bask in the delight of full face of flawlessly applied make up and beautifully done hair.
-Cherish seeing your friends from near and far whenever you deem it necessary.  It just won’t happen as much.
-Cherish not having to leave events early! Baby gets fussy. Baby gets hungry. Baby has an early ass bedtime!
-Cherish your dog! My poor, poor, neglected, stepped on too often, dog.
-Cherish grocery shopping without having to stop half way through, only to try again tomorrow.
-Cherish your messy house. Yes, your messy house will get more f$@% up!
-Cherish doing 7 loads of laundry a week. You’ll soon be doing 70.
-Cherish non-segmented sleep. Sure, I sleep about 6-7 hours a day. In 30 minute increments. Sometimes standing up.
-Cherish yourself and your time, because before you know it, you will so willingly put the most precious gift you could ever be given, before yourself on a minute to minute basis, day in, and day out.
-Cherish the you, you currently know. I have a baby boy who has taught me some of my biggest strengths and weaknesses, all in 6 short months.
-Lastly, cherish the world as you currently know it because although motherhood sucks sometimes, your heart is about to overflow with a love you’ve never before experienced.

So yea, motherhood is freaking hard and freaking frustrating and freaking unpredictable but it’s also so worth it. The special moments that can last only seconds trump the crappy moments that can last hours. Hence, why Facebook and Instagram are filled with pictures and stories depicting happy babies, who sleep through the night and who hit every milestone on time. Our minds tend to capture, hold onto and share the good moments and all together, forget the bad.  However, from a new mom who experiences them all too often, the BAD times do exist, regardless of what your friends post on Facebook or tell you at the beauty salon.

To all the mommies out there who have terrible days too: After you put the babes to bed, have a beer and know you are not alone. Not in your irrevocable love , your fleeting loathe or your brew at the end of the day.

& To the soon to be mommies, don’t be scared! Just know you are in line for the ride of your life; lots of ups, downs, turn arounds and whoop-di-doos. Sometimes all you can do if throw your hands up, scream and enjoy the ride.

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